


Through Hux's Eyes

by RyouheiAkane



Series: I'll be wind, you the raging fire of a typhoon. Together we destroy. [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Character Development, Cockblocking Mask/Bucket, First Kiss, Huge character development, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Probably ooc, Unknown Past, Virgin Kylo Ren, fanvid inspired, in here at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 12:05:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6657088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RyouheiAkane/pseuds/RyouheiAkane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux has never seen Kylo Ren without his mask on. He doesn’t know anything about Ren’s past. All he knows is that Ren is haunted by something Hux doesn’t understand. But when Hux overhears Ren saying some alarming things, Hux voices his worries about Ren to Snoke, only to have the Supreme Leader accuse him of there being ‘something more’ to Hux’s concerns. So, Hux decides to confront Ren himself.</p>
<p>Or:<br/>Hux has been raised into the perfect child fantasy by his father and when Kylo Ren comes around, he quickly destroyes the unemotional walls  and professionality he has built in years to keep people outside. He doesn't mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Through Hux's Eyes

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Through Hux's Eyes](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/192718) by All-Things-Geeky. 



_**Through Hux's Eyes** _

People always assumed Hux was a bloodthirsty droid, unemotional with genocidal tendencies. Little did they know, he had rose so high up through the ranks thanks to his acute empathy sense. As a kid too, he was able to understand the moods surrounding him, picking up on the slightest twitches more out of defensiveness caused by his dad's beatings than else. The blame never fell back on his father's shoulders though, his position in the military put a considerable weight down on him and he was there to help him ease that burden. He had come to understand that there are reasons behind actions, always are. So when he had been sent far away, to train for his future brilliant career in the military he jumped in this new adventure, he hadn't even grown a beard by then. Everything was going smoothly, and nothing seemed to bother him, engrossed as he was in trying to be perfect so that upon returning home his father would be impressed at the perfect child he had become.

His father had died the second year he head left home for training. Heart failure.

Hux hadn't had the possibility to oversee the funeral, nor had he a stone to cry on.

From then on he swore to himself to never let a thing slip beneath his reach without him noticing. Nothing had to happen he wasn't informed about. How could he leave him like that, after mother died he lived to up his father's perfect son's fantasy and when he had put so much effort, so much of himself, sacrificing years of his younger self to please, this, this! was his answer? This was his fucking answer to him! He had the right to be acknowledged, he had the right to be told he was perfect, he had the right to feel right.

The rage bubbled up under his skin, prickling hot and white, dark corners taking space so fast and so numerous. Channelled, this rage turned to determination, fierce, painting his walls steely grey, demeanour just as cold as the metallic floor of the Starkiller Base he commanded as General, his ascending envied by most and most deserved. His duties were never neglected, blood cold in every situation and keen sense of leadership. His accounting reports said. Well, those statement were not false.

Something shifted when the Starkiller boarded a Knight of Ren, Lord Kylo. Immediately a one-sided rivalry seemed to haunt him, Ren always on the line to spot a distraction, something to mock him with in the presence of Leader Snoke. Truly, he only ever followed the monster's orders because it suited him. On the contrary Ren seemed eager for recognition, trying constantly to throw him off the edge by destroying his ship, what a useless attempt. Incessant fits of rage and preparations and meetings and set-ups filled his days, keeping some steam off his head, worrying among the reports swiftly as he had become with years of practice. He did admit, privately to himself, that Ren made him more human in some ways, he felt again, the tight constriction he put around his life loosen. Breathe again.

A new wave of thirst for curiosity had invested him, a pull that coaxed him vigorously, to know more talk to him observe closely know know know.

Ren was a lot of things, but the one intriguing Hux the most was the mask. It was always concealing the Knight's features. He couldn't read him, his face. At first he thought it was some kind of tradition for all the Knights of Ren to keep it on, like celibate. He had to dismiss his conjecture the horrible day he found one of Ren's puppies rutting with a panel technician against a wall. He had passed them barely taking any notice of their presence. Posture unfaltering, revelling in the blunt reaction of modesty, unbecoming since both were in the middle of a corridor.

After another outburst of rage, Hux decided to retire for the night in his room and reflect. This needed to be thought through properly and deeply.

 

Walking side by side after an update with Leader Snoke, Ren strolled confidently, deadpan humour contorted by the filter in what he kept on calling in his head “the bucket”. They were talking about the BB-8 unit, but Hux's mind was off for something different. The mask. It bugged him to no end, squeezing his insides bitterly.

“I want that map. For your sake, I suggest you get it.” Face to face, the mask hiding everything, Hux stared at him deeply through it, clenching softly his jaw, a rare display to his usual public appearance. His eyes lowered slightly just as Ren brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder.

 

His quarters were aseptic, impersonal, the air felt dusty and compact, exposed skin on the collar irking into goosebumps, the door closed behind him with a breathy sound. He changed into a more comfortable attire, all walls crashing down into the privacy of his bedroom, white oversized shirt which hung loosely on one bony shoulder and black boxers, encircling his thighs sweetly. He felt inexplicably safe in it, let himself be a common person, an everybody. Rubbing his hand in his face the façade crumbled down, only there did he show emotions and right then he was exhausted, turning on the cameras directly linked to his quarters. The holocameras broadcast all the different wings of the ship, corridors empty and crowded, troopers crawled rooms and hangars, white armours, weapons storage, technicians, the cafeteria lively despite its poor attempts at homemade meals. Hux's attention caught on a tape placed just outside an interrogation room, neon lights piercing the holoscreen just as caustic as the yells of distorted anger and despair. _Kylo. What are you doing?_ _What has happened to you..._

He couldn't help but think, think and worry his head about him. So much like him, so much anger and sorrows bottled inside only one man. Just like he was, short after... right after his father betrayed him. _Maybe he's throwing a tantrum. No, there must be something else. I don't believe it. Something must've happened to him to make him like that._

Tears left him as he let the metallic cold bite at his bare feet. So sad... Guts twisted as he clenched and unclenched his jaw and lips, eyes squinting tightly shut. Not a sob escaped him. The salt in the tears stung and reddened the thin vessels, lungs shook with the effort and he fell asleep clinging to his pillow, curling on himself exhausted.

 

He walked through the corridors, confident stride as he was directed to the holochamber, Snoke having called upon him, and Kylo surely was no far away. Never was, fanatic as Ren was he wondered what the reasons for such an enthusiastic follower brought. Did Ren tell himself it was the best alternative or did he really believe it, what went through his head? _How much pain has he suffered, the torment he went through, so much... I'm sorry._

Hux entered and reported blankly at Leader Snoke, occasionally biting back at Ren's remarks about his decisions on the retrieval of the map, so dear it seemed to be to the two Force-sensitive beings. They both looked at each other, the mask still concealing his features, dark cowl giving him pathos. All expression were hidden underneath it _Maybe he's facially disfigured. Forced to wear a mask._ Ren followed him with his gaze as Hux turned his back and left the room, nothing else for him to do there, Leader Snoke had already issued him about the final purpose and he was immediately out to make sure it would be over the soonest he could manage.

 

Hux was being reported to: General, Lord Ren is out of control. Your presence is urgently requested in the Eastern Wing 4, Panel Control Room, sir.

Eyebrows knit together he hurried, finding a Lieutenant of his constricted in the vice grip of the Knight, held up in the air. Stunned at the scene he yelled against his own volition, unstoppable. “Ren!” Before he could make any permanent damage to the young officer he run to the dark Knight, pulling the extended arm into his forceful grip, kneading at it through the fabric. The grip on the officer stopped and with a curt movement Ren withdrew his arm, twitching as if the touch had burnt his skin. Hux looked at him where his eyes should be beneath the mask, “Ren! Stop it, what is your problem?” A taken-in breath distorted as it came out, hitching the slightest _Don't touch me._ _This is not me... Kylo?_ _Are you in my head right now?_ _I'm not._ _Please, don't do this. Please General, really?_ _You know nothing about pleas,_ _my_ _dear General. Release me!_ Ren wrenched his arm from the grip and stomped out of the room, lights flicking once, twice as he passed past him and the terrified Lieutenant. “Lieutenant. A medical check would be necessary.” “Yessir. Thank you, sir.”

When no one was in the room he let a deep sigh seep out, closing his eyes and thinking what to do next. _I'd better go check on Kylo, who knows what is going to be his next target._

The sterile corridors seemed almost kilometres, he felt like he'd been walking forever, long step after long step, his mind wandered to other things, more important ones than counting the distance.

He encountered Ren while turning a corner and stalled right there, hiding behind it, watching as he entered his own quarters. Before he had looked cautiously around, as if he didn't want to be seen. Hux neared the doors, counting twenty-five seconds before doing so. He put an ear to the metal door, unlike popular belief rooms were not soundproof. The rustling sounds ended, _probably he has taken off his cloak._ Again the distortion jolted Hux awake from his trailing off.

“I'm being torn apart.” _What is this..._ “I want to be free of this pain.”

 

If before the corridors seemed unending now the earth shifted and parted under his feet, Hux was sure he'd been pacing fast and not running. Or was he?

“Leader Snoke, I'm worried about Ky-”

“General!” The figure rose abruptly from its seat, the corner of Hux's mouth and the underside of his eye sockets twitched imperceptibly, fair eyes looking up wide open in anger.

“There's something more.” When no further explanation comes forth he takes his cue to leave, brooding in his own thoughts, reprimanding himself about all of this madness he's supporting, the lack of control he's experimenting lately, since Ren came aboard the ship with his dark robes and unknown past. Hux wondered again. If Leader Snoke wouldn't help him he'd have to confront directly Kylo on the matter.

 

“I'm worried about you.”

“You needn't, General.”

“Can you take the mask off?”

“...”

“Maybe you should take it off.”

“No.”

“Take it off.”

Hux waited, a step away, for Ren to oblige. It felt like walking on a suspended rope, but he was unafraid of the Force. Immobile, the dark figure looked at him through the mask. _Take it off, please._

Only then Ren seemed to snap out of whatever thought he was drowning in, moving slowly into action. Straightening his back, gloved hands rose to the clasps, whirring as they unhooked. As he got to his feet the mask was put to Ren's side, revealing his face. Hux stalled, drinking in the beauty of those sad insecure dark eyes. His attention fell on Kylo's lips, beautiful and slightly parted, hitching as a grimace was being suppressed. Kylo face was exceptionally beautiful, the sparse moles enticing Hux more. His gaze shot up to his eyes again,finding them sadder. _What makes you so sad..._ Kylo projected a thought into Hux's mind. It was the shadow of a thought rooted strongly in the dark corners. Hux would eradicate it.

“I love your eyes.” Kylo didn't blink, as if he'd been trying to assess Hux's words off. “And... I love the rest of your face, too.” Hux bit his lip, realizing he'd been smiling all the time, probably since Kylo had taken his mask off. Now the man averted his eyes, and the lips closed. Hux moved a hand to cup his cheeks, thumbing it softly. Kylo leaned into the touch, sighing stiffly, eyes half-lidded.

“Can I kiss you?” asked Hux expectantly, eyebrows drawing in together in a grimace, watching a deep blush creep onto the man's face.

Hux projected a reassurance, slowly drawing closer and closer. The height difference wasn't much but Hux stood on his toes, stopping a breath away to look up at Kylo. Their hot lips met, soft against Kylo's chapped ones, melting into the touch. After, Hux pulled him close, to the crook of his neck and patted his hair.

_No one can prepare you for the love. And the fear._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had this horrible idea in the heat of the moment. I was also going to write some smut, probably in sequel because I felt this one was too pure to put the do in it but I am a sinner and I am going to sin anyway. Thanks to all of you, you are all sinners and we are going to bathe together in the blood of the Resistance scum and firepits of hell. 
> 
> If I manage a barely decent sequel the ratings would definitely go up.


End file.
